Barclays Premier League

Luis Felipe Scolari may have departed from Stamford Bridge. But he certainly left behind some quirky words of wisdom.

On the high chance of being sacked by Chelsea - which eventually happened:
"If I lose my job, I will have another job. Maybe tomorrow, maybe after one year or two. I've worked for 25 years...I like Chelsea. I like every day in London. But if I go back to Brazil, I will like Brazil the same. If I lose or do not lose my job, I will be the same. I am the same."

On the stars:
"I believe firmly in astrology. Since I was a kid, the stars told me I was a winner."

On his biggest mistake:
"My problem is I'm stupid, I tell the truth while others lie."

On players having sex the night before a game:
"Any individual who cannot control this aspect of his life is not a human being but an irrational animal."

On former Chile dictator General Pinochet:
"He tortured a lot but there is no illiteracy in Chile."

Describing himself: 
"I'm like anyone else. I've got two legs, two arms and a head"

On referees, after being asked to leave his bench in a game for Brazil in 2000: 
"I'll wait for you outside, mate."

On dealing with critics: 
"If someone talks about my private life, for example, I'll give them a good punching. I'm not interested in suing. I like to sort things out my way."

On Luis Figo, after he headbutted Mark Von Bommel at the 2006 World Cup
"Jesus said we should turn the other cheek. Unfortunately, Figo is not Jesus Christ."

On Brazilian legend Pele: 
"Pele knows nothing about soccer. He's done nothing as a coach and his analysis turns out to be always wrong. If you plan on winning a title, you do the opposite to what Pele says.